CHICKENS & TENSION & FREEDOM
Team America "Durka Durka"
A rubber chicken
MeFrom Team America
What would you do
If you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom
What would you do
If asked to make the ultimate sacrifice
Would you think about all them people
Who gave up everything they had.
Would you think about all them War Vets
And would you start to feel bad
Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill
Freedom isn't free
No, there's a hefty fuckin' fee.
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five Who will?
What would you do If someone told you to fight for freedom.
Would you answer the call
Or run away like a little pussy 'Cause the only reason that you're here.
Is 'cause folks died for you in the past
So maybe now it's your turn
To die kicking some ass
Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill Freedom isn't free
Now there's a have to hook'in fee
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five Who will?
You don't throw in your buck 'o five. Who will?
Freedom isn't free
No, there's a hefty fuckin' fee.
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five Who will?
What would you do If someone told you to fight for freedom.
Would you answer the call
Or run away like a little pussy 'Cause the only reason that you're here.
Is 'cause folks died for you in the past
So maybe now it's your turn
To die kicking some ass
Freedom isn't free
It costs folks like you and me
And if we don't all chip in
We'll never pay that bill Freedom isn't free
Now there's a have to hook'in fee
And if you don't throw in your buck 'o five Who will?
You don't throw in your buck 'o five. Who will?
Oooh buck 'o five
Freedom costs a buck 'o five
---------
Why did the chicken cross the road?
KIM JUNG IL The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.
GEORGE W BUSH We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
AL GORE The chicken was stolen by George Bush before it could cross the road in search of dangling chads.
MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD We are developing the chicken for the peaceful purpose of crossing the road but the Great Satan is trying to steal the road.
DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
MARTIN LUTHER KING,! JR I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying s*xual insecurity.
BILL GATES eChicken2005 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2005.
ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON What is your definition of chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?
------------
ALSO
STRESS & TENSION GUIDE
Simple modifications in posture, habits, thought, and behavior often go a long way toward reducing feelings of stress and tension. Here are 8 quick and simple things you can do immediately to help keep your stress level under control.
1. Control Your Anger: Watch for the next instance in which you find yourself becoming annoyed or angry at something trivial or unimportant, then practice letting go - make a conscious choice not to become angry or upset. Do not allow yourself to waste thought and energy where it isn’t deserved. Effective anger management is a tried-and-true stress reducer.
2. Breathe: Breathe slowly and deeply. Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly. If you have a few minutes, try out breathing exercises such as meditation or guided imagery.
3. Slow Down: Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
4. Complete One Simple To Do: Jump start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g. returning a phone call, making a doctor’s appointment) and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
5. Get Some Fresh Air: Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don’t be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
6. Avoid Hunger and Dehydration: Drink plenty of water and eat small, nutritious snacks. Hunger and dehydration, even before you’re aware of them, can provoke aggressiveness and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress.
7. Do a Quick Posture Check: Hold your head and shoulders upright and avoid stooping or slumping. Bad posture can lead to muscle tension, pain, and increased stress.
8. Recharge at the Day’s End: Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully relax. Don’t spend this time planning tomorrow’s schedule or doing chores you didn’t get around to during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself - you’ll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.
---------
Why did the chicken cross the road?
KIM JUNG IL The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.
GEORGE W BUSH We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
COLIN POWELL Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
AL GORE The chicken was stolen by George Bush before it could cross the road in search of dangling chads.
MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD We are developing the chicken for the peaceful purpose of crossing the road but the Great Satan is trying to steal the road.
DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.
MARTIN LUTHER KING,! JR I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
RONALD REAGAN What chicken?
SIGMUND FREUD The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying s*xual insecurity.
BILL GATES eChicken2005 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2005.
ALBERT EINSTEIN Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON What is your definition of chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS Did I miss one?
------------
ALSO
STRESS & TENSION GUIDE
Simple modifications in posture, habits, thought, and behavior often go a long way toward reducing feelings of stress and tension. Here are 8 quick and simple things you can do immediately to help keep your stress level under control.
1. Control Your Anger: Watch for the next instance in which you find yourself becoming annoyed or angry at something trivial or unimportant, then practice letting go - make a conscious choice not to become angry or upset. Do not allow yourself to waste thought and energy where it isn’t deserved. Effective anger management is a tried-and-true stress reducer.
2. Breathe: Breathe slowly and deeply. Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly. If you have a few minutes, try out breathing exercises such as meditation or guided imagery.
3. Slow Down: Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
4. Complete One Simple To Do: Jump start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g. returning a phone call, making a doctor’s appointment) and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
5. Get Some Fresh Air: Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don’t be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
6. Avoid Hunger and Dehydration: Drink plenty of water and eat small, nutritious snacks. Hunger and dehydration, even before you’re aware of them, can provoke aggressiveness and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress.
7. Do a Quick Posture Check: Hold your head and shoulders upright and avoid stooping or slumping. Bad posture can lead to muscle tension, pain, and increased stress.
8. Recharge at the Day’s End: Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully relax. Don’t spend this time planning tomorrow’s schedule or doing chores you didn’t get around to during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself - you’ll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.
posted by 10 men at 3:13 PM
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